All Of My Friends Are Getting Married & Having Kids: What About Me?


So, apparently there's this bug going around. It's something in the water that's causing everyone to become married and pop out babies. Every other week it seems as if there is a new baby or marriage announcement. All I can think is: I need to drink more water! lol. I'm kidding. Seriously. I am content in this season and know that my time will come when He knows I'm ready. Right now I'm just focused on surviving in the "real world"! However, I do get equally excited when my friends announce that they are getting married or about to have a baby. Almost as if I'm living vicariously through them.
At this very moment three of my closest friends are all married and expecting their first child. I couldn't be any more happier for them. 1 Corinthians 12:26 says (in reference to the Body of Christ) "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it. If one part is honored, every part rejoices with it". Meaning, I could choose to be envious and bitter and selfish but instead I find joy in the fact that I've gained a new brother and sister, and my favorite - I get to buy more baby stuff! Ahh.

All of that sounds fine and dandy, but what about the person that's reading this and has nothing but negative things to say about the topic simply because they themselves aren't content with their own life? They're wondering when their time will come and why haven't they reached that milestone yet. Well, can I share with you just a few simple pointers that may cause you to view the situation a bit differently?

  • Focus on your own grass
Trust me, if you were more concerned with yourself and YOU being all that God has called you to be, you wouldn't even entertain the idea of being envious of others. Imagine being so stuck on everyone else getting married and living out your "fantasy life" that you finally wake up years later, and see that in return you failed to live out your own life. How sad would it be for you to waste years of your life being bitter about someone else's portion when you could have very easily been enjoying your own? And even more sad, the fact that whoever you're envying more than likely has no clue. They're sleeping good and you're over there stressing and staying awake all night. Definitely not worth it. As the lovely Heather Lindsey once said "your portion is perfect for you. stay in your lane". And plus, if you're constantly looking at other people's grass, yours will never seem green enough. So, continue to tend to your own lot, and one day you will look up and see that God sent you someone to help you  for the rest of your life. :)

  • Trust His timing 
As Christians, we quote this often. Yet, how many of us really trust that His timing is absolutely perfect? Not just sometimes, but all of the time. So if God has placed the desire to get married and have a family in your heart, I believe that He will bring it to pass when He knows that you're ready for that kind of commitment. A lot of us crave that kind of commitment but we can't even stay committed to Him. Why would HE give us another idol to replace Him with? Maybe instead of harping on the fact that we haven't reached a certain milestone in our lives we should be using this time to prepare ourselves for what it is that we desire. You want to be married? Work on being a godly spouse. Hang around other married couples whom you trust. You want to have children one day? Babysit a friends kid one night, experience what it takes to have a child and not be able to give them back to their parents. Cause trust me, babysitting my 13 month old niece for days at a time taught me real quick that I'm nowhere near ready for that kind of commitment lol. Rest in the fact that He sees, He knows, and He's more than capable to provide just what it is that you desire.

  • Enjoy your singleness
The Bible talks about being married and being single. I've yet to read where it talks about boyfriends and girlfriends. (if it's in there, I'd be more than happy for you to show me where). So if you're not married yet, you're technically still single. All that to say, you should be enjoying this time of singleness! Once you get married the two of you become one. Meaning you now have to answer to and consult another person before making big decisions, taking a random trip out of town with your friends, spending money, etc. Take advantage of this time. Visit that place you've always wanted to visit. Go do all the stuff you may have to compromise once you enter into a covenant with someone. Learn yourself. Your likes, dislikes, what qualities annoy you and/or make you happy in a significant other. Dating or being in a courtship is one thing; you see them for an amount of time then you each [should] go to your separate homes. When you get married you have to see each other every single day. Whether it's a good day, bad day, or indifferent. So, enjoy all the "me time" you get the pleasure of having now, because if you desire marriage and a family it won't always be that way. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Children are a beautiful thing. Don't taint its beauty with your bitterness and envy. So what, all your friends are getting married and having kids. Rejoice with them and be content with where you are now. Your blessing is on the way. 

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